How To Write The Best First Message Tips for Online Dating

Being involved in the online dating game and having friends at the best uk online dating sites, we wanted to use our know-how to bring you some practical tips for writing the best first message possible to help avoid being ignored for the rest of your life, Ill jump straight in shall I?

– No internetz gramma, please!

Avoid bad grammar & internet speak (LOLz, IDK, C U L8r etc)
We have found, not just on opinion, but through research that this is a massive turn off. It goes hand in hand with numerous studies that state women are subconsciously looking for strong male that will be able to provide for them and if the first impression of you is bad spelling and crap grammar you automatically get a fat ‘NEXT’ tagged to your message. Think of it as if you were in front of the person, speak normally you douche bag!

– ha = contridication

Yes, technically ‘ha’ isn’t proper grammar, but fuck you, every rule has an exception. We have spoken to various dating people and apparently coming across as having a good sense of humour is a huge plus for you. Using words that convey happiness and being genuinely funny will make the person in your sights intrigued to get to know you more and will help your cause for a reply.


Everyone would like to be sexually attractive, but that doesn’t mean your opening line should talk about or reference their looks in anyway, unless maybe its to tease and show your funny side. Anyway, telling me I’m super hot as a first message WILL NOT WORK. Numerous studies have shown it and our friends at the top UK dating sites have confirmed this – whenever a new message talks about physical appearance, the chances are you will be ignored – this is the case for both sexes (more so for men to keep in mind though).
Avoid physical compliments

– Pay attention

Ok, so this might be an obvious one, but we have seen that people who open with a reference to a dating profile picture or something on the others persons profile do a tonne better.
EG noticed an interesting tatoo, do you share the same taste in music, are you both vegan – then open with this instead a simple ‘Hello’.Open with a relevant observation

– Take aim at yourself

Saying something awkward or poking fun at yourself can be a surprisingly effective way of getting a reply. Studies have shown this could come across as vulnerable and although not the best trait, it appeals to the kinder nature of the person you are talking to.
Don’t over do it, but try shoehorning a little vulnerability – whatever you do, do not sue the world PLEASE – its bad!

– Profile pictures

Make sure you have a decent/appealing profile picture – make your profile stand out as much as possible. Try and use an image with something interesting in the background – a picture from a recent trip, you doing your hobby etc can all work. Make yourself look interesting

– dont start with a generic question

Don’t allow them to have to put in effort straight off the bat with a boring question. Instead, like we mentioned above, start the conversation off with an observation of some sort or even a quirky comment / statement.Be different

– get your profile up to scratch

yes your opening message might be killer, but before someone replies (unless you are REALLY good) they will 99% of the time check your profile before replying – you must have a good profile before messaging anyone. Get your profile game tip top

– sundays…

Sundays are lazy days for singletons – aim for sending messages between 9am – 2pm or Sunday evenings 6pm-10pm to get the best chance of catching someone who is doing nothing else

END – thanks for reading!….oh and Good Luck!

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