We have brought the lovely lot over at eHarmony to our blog to shed some light on online dating and more specifically, how to spot a catfish. We hope you find it useful!
Do you suspect that someone you’re talking to isn’t exactly who they say they are? Here’s how to know if you’ve been caught by a catfish
So, you’ve been dating online for a while and now you think you’ve finally found the one. They’re perfect. But they don’t have that many pictures, and they’re a bit vague when it comes to the details, and come to think of it, they don’t seem that keen to meet up. Maybe they’re not so perfect after all. In fact, you may well have been caught by a catfish. Here’s 8 ways to tell if the person you’ve been talking to online is fact or fiction!
They disappear…a lot
It’s fine not to be in constant contact, but if the object of your affection regularly disappears for days – even weeks – at a time, then they may well be a catfish. Everyone gets busy, but if they’re pulling regular vanishing acts then they probably have something else going on, maybe they’re already involved in another relationship or they’re still going back and forth with their ex. Either way, if you’re not getting their full attention, then they might not be the one for you.
They’re social media isn’t very social
Even the most reluctant Facebook user typically still gets tagged in their friends’ photos, has people share funny gifs to their wall and receives birthday messages, so, if their page looks suspiciously sparse then you might want to ask some questions. The number of friends they have can also be a big giveaway; anything less than 100 is worth investigating further, and if you see the same people posting over and over again then it may be worth checking out their profiles too, just in case!
They won’t Skype, Facetime, or even snapchat…
Thanks to modern technology, it’s never been easier to have a face-to-face conversation with someone, even if you’re miles apart. If the person you’re talking to has a laptop or a smartphone, then it’s very likely that they’ll have easy access to some kind of video chat, whether that be Skype, Facetime or even a 10 second Snapchat. Of course, not everyone is tech-savvy so you might want to cut them some slack, but if they’re point blank refusing to try while simultaneously posting a series of selfies on their Instagram feed, then you could have a catfish on your hands.
They’re an expert storyteller
Everyone loves a good storyteller – after all, there’s nothing better than finding yourself on a first date with someone who can tell an engaging, entertaining tale. But when the stories start getting more and more outlandish and their excuses get even wilder, then it’s time to ask yourself whether they’re telling you the whole truth. Always being ready with a convenient tall tale is a tell-tale sign of a catfish. Look out for those stories that don’t completely add up – it’s been their Grandma’s birthday three times this year already, for example – and stay on your guard.
They get too serious; too soon
One of the most seductive aspects of a catfish is that they typically get serious fast. Constant messaging can create a false sense of intimacy that puts everything on fast-forward; suddenly they’re the last person you speak to at night, and you’re soon saying ‘I love you’ – and meaning it – to someone you’ve never met! There’s nothing wrong with falling for someone, but if they’re whispering sweet nothings and still aren’t keen to meet up then how strong can those feelings really be?
They sound too good to be true
We’re all looking for ‘the one’ but if your new online crush seems to be the man or woman of your dreams with no flaws at all, then beware, you might have caught a catfish. We hate to be the ones to break it you but no-one is truly perfect. And if you’ve fallen for someone with model-like pictures, an amazing job and a lifestyle that would rival Beyoncé, well, there will probably be a catch somewhere down the line. The best relationships are about accepting each other’s flaws and helping each other grow together; if you’re chatting to someone who never admits to being anything less than perfect then they may well have something to side.
They ask you for money
If someone you’ve only ever spoken to online – or on the phone – asks you for money, then alarm bells should sound immediately! It might sound like a small request at first; a loan to cover their phone bill or buy that train ticket so they can finally come and see you but, typically, once a catfish knows that you’re willing to give them money once, the amount will keep rising and the pressure will build. Our number one rule is to never send any money to someone you’ve never met – and if they are genuine then we promise they’ll understand why you won’t.
They just give you that feeling
The best rule to follow when online dating is to always trust your gut. If you feel deep down that there’s something off about someone then, chances are, your instinct will be proved right. When you meet someone online and you’re both feeling the butterflies, then it’s natural to want to meet up in person, or at the very least, share a video call. If someone is repeatedly providing excuses or giving out signals that you shouldn’t trust them, then you probably already know that something just doesn’t feel right. Cut your losses and throw that catfish right back!