The first few times I tried online dating I refused to reach out and contact any possible suitors. In my head my online presence was more than enough. A few pics and a made up blurb about me myself and I surely was sufficient to bag a date…. Right? Eh… no. I mean I would receive the odd message from people who wanted a booty call or for me to hook up with some bloke’s wife as he watched… but nothing of any substance would peak my interest.
“Rule 101 in online dating… when trying to woo someone online, do it fecking sober.”
So yay you’ve been invited to another wedding! Although your knee jerk reaction is to rip up the invite with your teeth as you fall to your knees sobbing hysterically to Toni Braxton’s ‘Unbreak My Heart’… don’t do it… just chill out! So what this invite has just reminded you that you are in fact still single with no prospect of fulfilling that ‘plus one’ anytime soon. And yes you may want to smash inanimate objects in a bitter jealous rage, but as my best mate often tells me… it’s not about you… so rein it in!
“I like to mask these feelings with vodka!”
Far too many of us jump head first into relationships without even thinking it through. Believe it or not, being single and working out you and your needs is perfectly fine. But of course society tends to dictate that if you don’t have a partner then you’re screwed, destined to live a life of solitude and many many cats. Right now I only want a girlfriend so I can buy 2 for 1 cocktails without looking like a massive alcoholic! Here are 5 things to think of before you decide it’s time to get busy with someone else…
My first attempt at online dating was when I was 23, a whole 8 years ago when it was still considered kinda creepy, weird and totally soul destroying to find a mate through the wonders of the internet. The last time I spoke to a stranger online was when I was about 14…in a chat room…on my parent’s dial-up internet to some chap who sent me a photo of his penis instead of a standard “hello” greeting. I initially signed up to online dating as a bet with a male friend of mine to see who could get a date first…he won. I failed miserably. Not only was I un-loveable in real life, but I was rejected from complete strangers who had no interest for some of my heavily cropped and filtered within an inch of its life profile pics! Assholes!
“They saw the label of lesbian and assumed I was all about having threesomes”