“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame!” Having you heart exquisitely ripped from your chest by an ex happens to the best of us! Times are hard, life sucks and nothing seems to fast track you out of dumps-ville. The only thing that does help is time. And I am well aware of how annoying it is when people say “you just need to give it time…” because I too have wanted to punch these friends when they have said it to me. The truth is, after you’ve clawed your way to the other side, time was all you ever needed to get over them. However in the meantime as you’re crying into your pillow, you will look for quick fix solutions to your heartbreak. Some things are positive like head to the gym, distract yourself with mates or even get a new haircut, but some things are just a disaster. Avoid at all costs!
Avoid any slow musical ballads. Yes the lyrics may be telling your story and offer a weird sense of comfort, but nobody got over their ex by lamenting to Adele’s greatest hits or watching Sam Smith music videos on loop. Unless it’s gangster rap then step away from playlists with the word ‘love’ in them.
Avoid Facebook, or any type of social media until you feel more like yourself. Facebook: ruining relationships and turning perfectly healthy individuals into crazies since forever. Don’t do it to yourself. Do not write long rambling, passive aggressive, or tearful/drunk status’ for all to see. You will massively regret this as well as feel like a giant tool when your friends have not commented due to embarrassment for you. Also try and refrain yourself from writing upbeat or peppy messages telling everyone how independent, strong and awesome you are. Protesting too much is also a weird cry for help that many folk have no patience for.
Avoid eating your weight in fast food and carbs on carbs! Having binge sessions watching Netflix with a whole pizza to yourself is effective the first couple of times. However 4 weeks into a breakup and you need to get out of your ice cream stained pajamas and try and reassemble your diet. There’s nothing worse than feeling unloved as well as weighing a thousand stones because of it.
Avoid stalking. Whether that’s online or offline, either way you can get arrested! Again this goes with the social media ban. Finding out what your ex is doing all day everyday is horrendous for your heart, head and soul. You are no longer friends in real life so why are you continuing to be friends online?! Delete them or if you’re not that ruthless yet (oh you will get there…. Trust me!) then ‘hide’ them from all your online feeds. Having updates on their life and overthinking whether a random in a photograph is their new love, will drive you insane. You don’t need that kind of madness in your life.
Avoid hosting your own pity party. We get it, you’re sad, broken and dejected. You’re suffocating in your own despair and it’s your party and you’ll cry if you want to! However this boo hoo act will wear thin after a time. Feeling sorry for yourself just delays the healing. I’ve been there crying into a pint glass… in public… to have exasperated pep talks from my nearest and dearests on how I need to suck it up and move on. It sounds harsh but you need to get out of bed and face the world again. You’re heaps more attractive when you’re smiling even if you have to fake it to make it for a while. Do something exciting, try new things… and when you’re ready… get back on the dating fun bus!